I had a moment last night where I saw an opportunity and I seized it. Experiencing a moment right when it happens is an exhilarating feeling. There were many things going on through my mind as I embraced the moment for what it was, and when it was over I was neither happy nor sad but completely content because I lived life right at that moment.
I am going to take this experience with me to different aspects in my life. Never again do I want to let moments, little or big, pass me by without knowing that I took it for all that it was worth.
I think all people need to have this mentality because you never know when moments will stop coming your way and then what are you going to do.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Putting Myself Out There
So you want to get a date but don't know how to go about meeting new people? Do what I did and get yourself a page spread in the Velocity Weekly.
First clarification- Velocity is a free weekly newspaper distributed around the Kentuckiana area. For those of you in class reading this if you ever want to check the paper out there is a stand out in front of the clock tower next to the bus stop station.
Anyway so a friend of mine in one of my classes is a writer for the Velocity. He walks up to me about a week or so before Valentine's Day and said, "Hey, you are single right?" I reply with a yes. He says, "Want to be in the Velocity?" I reply with a "Well hell yea!" I also let him know that I have been in the Velocity before a few times but only in the Party Crasher section. That is a section where some of their photographers go around town for various reasons and take pictures of people out partying or hanging out or what not.
So he gave me the low down what the article was going to be about and sent me on my way. They were spotlighting six people who were single on Valentine's Day this year and letting them talk about themselves and what not.
The most fun part was going to Proof on Main in Downtown Louisville and have a mini photoshoot. A girl must say having all the attention on her for a solid thirty minutes while the restaurant workers all stand around staring at you is pretty exciting.
Tomorrow a new Velocity will come out and my 15 minutes of fame will be over...but it has been an awesome time this week reading responses from random people in Louisville and having my friends all say how shocked they were when they opened the first page and saw me smiling back at them.
My advice to all: get yourself 15 minutes of fame...it is a definite self esteem booster :)!
How dare you try to steal our tears?
I have a friend who met this guy this past summer. She fell head over heels for him and they were immediately on the fast track to being a serious relationship.
He did all the right things in her book. He was affectionate, he got along with her friends, and he liked to take her out. When things got bad between her and her roommate he stepped in and acted like the big bad boyfriend to protect her. Not to long into their relationship when things got worst with her roommate and she was already spending every waking hour at his house they decided it would be best if she just moved in. She didn't mind at the time that he already had other roommates and lived in a complete bachelor pad.
Things were great...I think...I never really hung out with her while she was with him. She would call every now and then, but mainly she only did things with him and had to run things by him before she would commit on any plans we wanted to include her in on. Soooo annoying.
Well things eventually went south and he broke up with her. He was wishy washy at first about things after their initial talk, but eventually when they sat down again he laid it down straight that he did not want to be with her.
What else more does one woman need to hear from a man to get it through their head that he doesn't want her? How many times does a man need to act like a complete idiot for a woman to realize that he is not even worth her time?
He didn't text or call her on Valentine's Day....she seemed upset about this. I asked her why they hell would he want to do that and why the hell would she want him to do that? I mean didn't he just tell her the other day that he didn't want to be with her anymore? Shortly after she told me she looks on his facebook page and notices that some girl he knows that she was suspicious about is now single and has written something on his page.
She then proceeds into my bathroom and cries.
I do not know what it is about women....why do we allow ourselves to get lost in men? Why do we allow ourselves to lose our identity and forget who are friends are just because a man enters our world? This is why I feel that women need to be strong and confident in who they are before they allow a man to get that close to us.
We should not allow anyone who is not worth it steal our time and especially our tears.
He did all the right things in her book. He was affectionate, he got along with her friends, and he liked to take her out. When things got bad between her and her roommate he stepped in and acted like the big bad boyfriend to protect her. Not to long into their relationship when things got worst with her roommate and she was already spending every waking hour at his house they decided it would be best if she just moved in. She didn't mind at the time that he already had other roommates and lived in a complete bachelor pad.
Things were great...I think...I never really hung out with her while she was with him. She would call every now and then, but mainly she only did things with him and had to run things by him before she would commit on any plans we wanted to include her in on. Soooo annoying.
Well things eventually went south and he broke up with her. He was wishy washy at first about things after their initial talk, but eventually when they sat down again he laid it down straight that he did not want to be with her.
What else more does one woman need to hear from a man to get it through their head that he doesn't want her? How many times does a man need to act like a complete idiot for a woman to realize that he is not even worth her time?
He didn't text or call her on Valentine's Day....she seemed upset about this. I asked her why they hell would he want to do that and why the hell would she want him to do that? I mean didn't he just tell her the other day that he didn't want to be with her anymore? Shortly after she told me she looks on his facebook page and notices that some girl he knows that she was suspicious about is now single and has written something on his page.
She then proceeds into my bathroom and cries.
I do not know what it is about women....why do we allow ourselves to get lost in men? Why do we allow ourselves to lose our identity and forget who are friends are just because a man enters our world? This is why I feel that women need to be strong and confident in who they are before they allow a man to get that close to us.
We should not allow anyone who is not worth it steal our time and especially our tears.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Sanity Saving Vows
I promise not to grade myself based on whether or not I have said I do.
I know that while falling in love is great, it is not as easy as buying the right perfume/cosmetic/weight-loss product, though billions of dollars are spent trying to make me believe it is.
I won't be bummed about not getting invited to the smug married dinner club because I will be out on the town with my new fabulous single friends.
I will stop making lists of male friends with good genetic attributes who could be potential sperm donors because I'm twenty-eight and nowhere near tying the knot.
I will relish my complete liberty and my ability to join the circus in New Zealand if I see fit because I don't have to factor someone else into my decision.
I will spend more time doing things that make me feel proud of my independence and competence so that I never “need” a man but I won't beat myself up for wanting one.
I know that calling on my gay husbands to play switch-hitter when I need male stand-ins doesn't exactly help my case of seeming available.
When I get really down about being alone, I will remember that the first 120 days of a new relationship are full of lust, excitement, and sweetness and I still have another 120 days to look forward to.
I realize that there are a ton of married women who would kill to be as free and breezy as I am. So for all of them, I am going to live it up and do my best to justify their jealousy.
I won't put up an inspirational poster by my desk or anything, but I will live every day as if it's my last single one.
I know that while falling in love is great, it is not as easy as buying the right perfume/cosmetic/weight-loss product, though billions of dollars are spent trying to make me believe it is.
I won't be bummed about not getting invited to the smug married dinner club because I will be out on the town with my new fabulous single friends.
I will stop making lists of male friends with good genetic attributes who could be potential sperm donors because I'm twenty-eight and nowhere near tying the knot.
I will relish my complete liberty and my ability to join the circus in New Zealand if I see fit because I don't have to factor someone else into my decision.
I will spend more time doing things that make me feel proud of my independence and competence so that I never “need” a man but I won't beat myself up for wanting one.
I know that calling on my gay husbands to play switch-hitter when I need male stand-ins doesn't exactly help my case of seeming available.
When I get really down about being alone, I will remember that the first 120 days of a new relationship are full of lust, excitement, and sweetness and I still have another 120 days to look forward to.
I realize that there are a ton of married women who would kill to be as free and breezy as I am. So for all of them, I am going to live it up and do my best to justify their jealousy.
I won't put up an inspirational poster by my desk or anything, but I will live every day as if it's my last single one.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Thank you for the reminder
Through my dating life I have been struck by ephiphanies that have altered the way I view men and the dating scene. They have just been recently added to the way I do things so there has not been enough time to reflect upon if they make a positive or negative change in the way I operate.
One that I find most helpful is safe guarding myself when it comes to dating is that I am to always expect men to do the worst. Or another way I like to put it is that all men are guilty until proven innocent.
I have received mixed reactions from people when I say this to them. Some people have agreed with me and other think that I am not giving men the benefit of the doubt or that it is not fair to place that kind of judgement on a person before they do anything. I feel though it is completely justified since the track record of the men I have encountered or that I have vicariously encountered through my friends telling me about their men issues shows that in given situations men are more likely to disappoint then to please.
I do sympathesize with the genuinely good men out there. They have to exert extra strength into showing women that they are not like the others then men 30 years ago had to. All I can say to them is that they need to just deal with it honestly...because women do want you, but they want to make sure that you are real.
Anyway, so this is something that I go by in my dating life so that when things do happen I am not caught off guard, surprised, or waste any of my time being upset or questioning what happened or what I did wrong.
Here is the recent event that helped spawn this post:
A guy messaged me on Facebook who knew a lot of my friends. We began talking through the online chat that Facebook has for about a week to two weeks. We eventually planned out a night to meet for dinner. This unfortunately was a night that the recent snow came down and with all the ice we postponed it for the falling week. The following week approached and the events were not so surprising to me. The following is an almost verbatim retelling of the text messages sent and received to this man:
3:00ish
Guy: Hey I am not feeling so hot today do you mind if I come over a little after six to pick you up?
Me: That is completely fine with me.
5:15ish
Me: Hey, when you say a little after 6 what time are you thinking?
Guy: Well I just woke up and have a migraine and just not feeling good all around. Would you be terribly mad if we rescheduled again?
(Thinking to myself: What the crap is this guy doing??? I showed a friend and he said that because the first time was because of weather I should cut some slack. Good idea.)
Me: That is fine with me.
A few minutes pass...
Guy: Actually maybe I just need some drinks....
(At this time I am thinking he is cancelling dinner but now wanting to go out and get drinks...I am also starving at this point in the day.)
Me: Well I have other things to do tonight such as homework so I do not think drinking is a good idea so let's just stick with rescheduling.
Guy: K
(What does "K" even mean?!?!)
Guy: Do you want me to come over so I can be your study buddy?
(You have got to be joking me!)
Me: So let me get this straight...you don't want to go to dinner, but you want to get drinks, and then come over and be my study buddy....negative.
Guy: Cool down I was going to get drinks with dinner..women.
(Oh are you serious?)
Me: I am so confused...are you sick? or not?? are you hungry?? or not??
Guy: Why don't we just forget about it.
Me: Whatever
I never found out what happened...whether he was sick or not or what....I have yet to talk to this guy since that night...don't plan on it either...this also opens a whole new topic of text messaging and its role in the way people communicate in today's society....until next time.
One that I find most helpful is safe guarding myself when it comes to dating is that I am to always expect men to do the worst. Or another way I like to put it is that all men are guilty until proven innocent.
I have received mixed reactions from people when I say this to them. Some people have agreed with me and other think that I am not giving men the benefit of the doubt or that it is not fair to place that kind of judgement on a person before they do anything. I feel though it is completely justified since the track record of the men I have encountered or that I have vicariously encountered through my friends telling me about their men issues shows that in given situations men are more likely to disappoint then to please.
I do sympathesize with the genuinely good men out there. They have to exert extra strength into showing women that they are not like the others then men 30 years ago had to. All I can say to them is that they need to just deal with it honestly...because women do want you, but they want to make sure that you are real.
Anyway, so this is something that I go by in my dating life so that when things do happen I am not caught off guard, surprised, or waste any of my time being upset or questioning what happened or what I did wrong.
Here is the recent event that helped spawn this post:
A guy messaged me on Facebook who knew a lot of my friends. We began talking through the online chat that Facebook has for about a week to two weeks. We eventually planned out a night to meet for dinner. This unfortunately was a night that the recent snow came down and with all the ice we postponed it for the falling week. The following week approached and the events were not so surprising to me. The following is an almost verbatim retelling of the text messages sent and received to this man:
3:00ish
Guy: Hey I am not feeling so hot today do you mind if I come over a little after six to pick you up?
Me: That is completely fine with me.
5:15ish
Me: Hey, when you say a little after 6 what time are you thinking?
Guy: Well I just woke up and have a migraine and just not feeling good all around. Would you be terribly mad if we rescheduled again?
(Thinking to myself: What the crap is this guy doing??? I showed a friend and he said that because the first time was because of weather I should cut some slack. Good idea.)
Me: That is fine with me.
A few minutes pass...
Guy: Actually maybe I just need some drinks....
(At this time I am thinking he is cancelling dinner but now wanting to go out and get drinks...I am also starving at this point in the day.)
Me: Well I have other things to do tonight such as homework so I do not think drinking is a good idea so let's just stick with rescheduling.
Guy: K
(What does "K" even mean?!?!)
Guy: Do you want me to come over so I can be your study buddy?
(You have got to be joking me!)
Me: So let me get this straight...you don't want to go to dinner, but you want to get drinks, and then come over and be my study buddy....negative.
Guy: Cool down I was going to get drinks with dinner..women.
(Oh are you serious?)
Me: I am so confused...are you sick? or not?? are you hungry?? or not??
Guy: Why don't we just forget about it.
Me: Whatever
I never found out what happened...whether he was sick or not or what....I have yet to talk to this guy since that night...don't plan on it either...this also opens a whole new topic of text messaging and its role in the way people communicate in today's society....until next time.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Correction
So I have been reinformed that there is no such law in Germany.... :'( I was very much intrigued by this idea because it reinforces my notion that time is a virtue when it comes to dating. People seemed so rushed to find that "perfect" someone and start living the life of a married couple. Obviously, 50% of people do not quite comprehend the magnitude that comes with a commitment like that since they are just as quick to head back to court for a divorce as they were to head down the aisle. I still feel that a law postponing marriage or something along a similiar line would help the status of relationships in our country as well as save many from heartache and finanical distress.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vG9XfJxMY8A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vG9XfJxMY8A
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